In some ways, my father is my hero. He's built a business that I am lucky to work for, and that I believe in. He runs it well and has navigated a lot of twists and turns. There are a lot of ways I'm proud of my dad.
But that doesn't make the offenses sting any less. My dad has an amazing ability to make me feel utterly unimportant.
Last July, I was 20 minutes late to my step-brother's birthday breakfast at the house. I was subsequently chewed out for the offense. Six and a half weeks ago was my 25th birthday. The only contact I received from my dad was a text that read, verbatim: "Happy b day. Where is an iPad. I want to take one to Chicago." I honestly believe that I wouldn't have heard from him that day if he didn't need something from me. I didn't get a call. I didn't get a card. And truly, I didn't want a present or a big party. I just wanted to be recognized. That's all. Three weeks later on Thanksgiving, my stepmom said to me, "I know we still haven't celebrated your birthday - we've just been so busy." Well, fuck you, too. We're all busy. My mom is a full time nurse, my stepdad is a busy criminal lawyer. They threw me a badass birthday party with my favorite family friends. My BOYFRIEND'S FAMILY (as in, not even actually related to me) threw me a birthday party, and their grandma and grandpa came. Busy people, who made time because they cared.
My dad doesn't know that I know that he bailed on his promise to make a donation to the hearing research lab that is trying to cure my (and everyone else's) hearing loss. He made a big show of saying he was going to donate, then dropped off the radar. Meanwhile, he's spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on Janene's singing hobby. Yes, hobby. It's not a fucking career when you don't make money, you just spend it. A LOT of it. It's so hard to see him pour tens of thousands of dollars into that thing while I'm fielding calls from researchers asking them if my dad is still alive. AND WHY THE FUCK ISN'T MY HEARING IMPORTANT? I guarantee you that if it were Sophia's hearing, Janene would put her whole career on hold to put every dime they had toward fixing it.
Now he's bailing on a fundraiser that almost a year ago he said he would go to. He takes trips to the Caymans for business, bringing Sophia along to keep Janene company. But God forbid he support this.
I don't fucking know why, and it makes me cry. I have worked my ass off to be successful at work, to be a good member of the family, to be supportive and to try to be someone that people would care about. But nobody from that side of my family fucking cares, and it really hurts.
